If you feel like you’ve been just floating through life, I wrote this for you.

So much of our lives is already determined for us and we don’t even realize it. There’s endless advertising for the most widely accepted solutions for everything from haircare to MBA’s and blue jeans. There are brands that infiltrate every corner of our lives like Starbucks and Apple. On top of these macro influences in the zeitgeist, there are also a flood of powerful influences closer to home.

Our partners, parents, friends, and colleagues often have well intentioned advice that they hope will send us in a certain direction. Our beloveds don’t consider that the logic which makes perfect sense in their brain and based off of their own experience doesn’t necessarily serve the person they’re trying to influence.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some benefits to adhering to pre-determined paths. It helps eliminate decision fatigue which causes strain from considering an unreal number of choices available to us. But noticing and deciding whether to follow established paths or break out on your own takes intention and curiosity. You owe it yourself to exercise your autonomy and create the reality that you’re craving.

Charting your own path means getting familiar with the voice within that knows what’s best for you. It means knowing what’s most fulfilling and being willing to follow it whole heartedly, even when external voices try to convince you that being “unconventional” is too risky.

Many people don’t give much thought to doing the work of getting acquainted with themselves. I’m here to tell you, the voice within is always communicating to you. When it doesn’t get the attention it needs, it eventually manifests in the form of stress, anxiety and general dis-ease.

Back in 2002, I finished undergrad and launched my first career in IT as a desktop computer support tech. I chose that field because it seemed safe and lucrative. Having been raised in a low-income household, I wanted a sure bet when it came to having financial security in my career. I wanted consistent health insurance, enough money to afford the home, the car, the white picket fence and maybe even 2.5 kids. This path made complete logical sense and had its benefits, but eventually the decision caught up with me in disruptive ways. As it turned out, that field was barren and nothing was growing there.

As my 42nd birthday quickly approaches and I reflect on years past, I can clearly see a repeated and unsustainable cycle in my career. It looks like this:

• Apply for a full time job that looks cool and get it
• Work my ass off to prove my worth
• Become burnt out and disengaged
• Start a new job search
• Rinse and repeat!

In May 2021, I finally gave myself permission to say “enough”. I quit my full-time gig and set out on a path of long-term creativity and sustainable fulfillment. As a soloprenuer executive coach and consultant, I’m finally designing the career and life that I really want. No more wild goose chase for the perfect career. I get to create it!

How do you know there’s more for you?

Here are some of the challenges I experienced at various points of my career that were clues that I needed to change course. Do these sound familiar?

• Being dissatisfied about the skills you’re using at work. (You’re not leading with the strengths you’re most proud of and love.)
• Experiencing a disconnect between your personal values and those of the company you work for.
• Spending days feeling like a robot; turning off your feelings to just get the job done.
• Lack of community and connection with your colleagues.
• Your intuition is telling you there’s a bigger impact that you need to make. There’s a longing for more, even if you can’t perfectly articulate with that looks like.

As you pause to consider what you REALLY want, ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you where you want to be in life? If not, what’s missing?

Did you purposefully manifest your current life, or are you here by default? How do you really feel about it? What’s happening that you want more of? Less of?

2. Is lifestyle creep limiting your options?

According to Gayle Sato, “[l]ifestyle creep happens when increased income leads to increased discretionary spending. Lifestyle creep can take the form of an ever-escalating taste for the finer things or a growing slate of regular expenses that sap money from your savings account.” Lifestyle creep is especially insidious when job dissatisfaction prompts us to spend money to “make up for” a series of shitty days at work.

What can you trim from your budget or how can you boost your income?

3. Can you articulate your top values?

What is it that you most need in order to live a life fulfilled and on purpose? For me, autonomy tops the list. If you need help getting clear on values, work with a coach or therapist. You can’t cultivate what you can’t articulate.

4. What patterns do you notice in your most frequent thoughts?

Watch your thoughts and mind your mindset. Are they serving you or hurting you? Channel your thoughts toward the things you want to create. Strive to stop ruminating on all those things that you don’t want to happen.

5. What are you afraid of?

In the hundreds of coaching hours spent with clients, I’ve noticed that many of the fears holding them back from taking risks are often not real. For example, a fear that if you quit your job, you’ll be without a home. Or, that you might offend someone when asking for you need to be successful at work. I suggest examining your fears with curiosity and without judgement. You’ll find the real ones can be addressed and the fake ones can take a hike.

You can always make more money, but you cannot make more time. Will you let the days waste away, or will you step into your courage and create your perfect?

For more on the topic of charting your own path, check out this podcast (ep. 30) hosted by my friend and coach Katherine N. Johnson. (Also available on Spotify and Google Podcasts.)

About Ashira:

Ashira Jones is an intuitive leadership and life coach with PCC credential, MBA and 20+ years’ experience coaching wildly ambitious professionals, especially introverts.

Find out more by visiting www.ashirajones.com.

Interested in booking a complimentary clarity session? Click here!